You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
