a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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