i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
