There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
