I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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