You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
