You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
