I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
