we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
