Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
