he wants to bone in the snuggie
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
