Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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