what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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