I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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