***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
