if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
