Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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