I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
