so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
