I think my vagina is haunted
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
