dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
