i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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