No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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