No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
