Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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