Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
