I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
