just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
