and you said cock pushups were impossible
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i've created a new STD.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
