I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
