She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
