At least make sure they are 18
Why
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
