I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
