She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she pinky promised me she was 18
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
