I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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