some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
