Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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