I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
