The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
