please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
