Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
