just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So much rum. So many feels.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
