I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
