Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
