If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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