You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
