Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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