tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
