Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
