just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Found your dick twin last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need moral support for this bender
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
